Some Honest Thoughts

Today's post while featuring pictures of Baby K in one of her adorable outfits doesn't have much to do with fashion at all. I figure I better throw a little bit of some fashion/style info your way though (it is Wednesday after all)- so I'll just say this: Layering works well with babies. You see this cute little mint outfit that Baby K is wearing? It is seriously too cold for her to wear that with no sleeves, but come on, its too cute to pass up. So I pulled out a long sleeve white onesie, put that on under the mint outfit, added some super soft and super comfortable (I imagine) fleece pants and voila! Instant layering outfit for my baby that keeps her super warm.


Now on to what's really on my mind. Baby K has been going through some separation anxiety for a few months and it is really taking its toll on me. Everything first started around Christmas, which was sadly a very rough time for us. Anytime someone besides myself and Tolar held her, she would cry (although she went to my brother in law, so score there!). Even if I sat next to her while someone else was holding or playing with her, she would cry. I chalked it up at the time to the fact that there were a lot of people around, she could feel our sadness over losing my Mimi and our sweet JoJo and that she was in a new place and just not used to everything. It was heartbreaking to give her to my Mom or Dad and have her cry. My Mom assured me that it didn't bother her and that as long as Baby K went to Miss Gina (her daycare provider) that is what really mattered.

We had some good weeks where she would go to the nursery at church with zero problems and she even played all night long with my friend Marcy while Tolar and I were sick. So I thought she was passed it. Then this weekend my mother in law and niece were visiting and Baby K cried again. I couldn't even leave the room without her breaking down and sobbing - I'm talking big fat crocodile tears pouring down her cheeks. There were plenty of moments where she was with them and didn't cry, it wasn't until she saw me and remembered that she missed me that she would cry. And I let it get to me. I don't want to spoil my daughter by always holding her whenever she cries, what am I teaching her then? But I sometimes cannot stand to hear her in such distress, it seriously breaks my heart.

Numerous people have told me that this is completely normal and part of her natural development and I understand that, but I'm just curious what can I do to help the situation? I don't want to hinder her development and growing in any way by always rushing to pick her up when she cries. But I don't want her to think I have abandoned her by not coming to her rescue. Lots of conflicting thoughts were running through my head. So what did I do? I plopped Baby K in a stroller on Monday afternoon and went on a walk. I love to talk to God when I go on walks, it is always very calming and peaceful. And trust me, I have A LOT to talk to God about right now. Lots of changes are happening in my life.

So as I was walking, I was praying to God and thanking Him for my amazing daughter. She truly is a miracle and an answer to prayer. While I was praying to God and seeking His help in so many areas of my life, I realized Baby K cries for the same reasons that I cry out to God. She cries in someone else's arms because she knows that she can trust Tolar and I. She feels safe when she is with us and knows that her comfort comes from us. She will eventually learn trust from other people, but right now we are what she knows as a safe place. And that made me stop dead in my tracks. Thank you for that, God! Thank you for reminding me that my sweet little almost 8 month old is very much dependent on me. Thank you for reminding me that Tolar and I were CHOSEN to be her parents and WE are the ones that get to mold and shape her into an incredible human being. We are her parents, responsible for her.  I want my daughter to always feel safe with us, to know that we will comfort her and help make bad things better. And I will do whatever it takes to maintain her trust all throughout her life. Thank you for trusting us with her.

Outfit Details:

White onesie: Babies R Us.

Mint onesie: Target (gift).

Pink Fleece pants: Carter's.

Sock: Old Navy.

Hair bow: Carter's outlet.

(Linking up with The Pleated Poppy for What I Wore Wednesday and Because Shanna Said So for Random Wednesday.)